We're not having a cull, honest, think of it more like a reshuffle. Current technical head honcho GT leaves us for pastures new in November (with our best wishes, a solid plastic carriage clock and possibly a hangover) which spells opportunity for some smart young bucks. Could that be you?

Are you the Dr Doolittle of the computer world? Do websites dance merely in your presence? Do you know your divs from your tables and your arse from your elbow? Do you love making websites? If the answer to all of these questions is yes, you need to be reading this vacancy...

Azure would love to hear from all talented, charming and hilarious website and graphic designers who would be interested in coming to work for us in our Sunderland capitalist utopia. It's nowt like being a corporate banker, particularly the bonuses.

We're getting an awful lot of requests from students to come in on work experience. Because our teabag budget can't take much more, we'd really appreciate it if you took the time to read this article and answer five simple questions.

It's political correctness gone mad - just 'cos some bint gets knocked up good, honest, hard-working businesses like us fall into ruin. Azure Design invites you to see for yourself the secret cost of maternity leave.

Every website Azure Design builds comes with a copy of our very own content management system (CMS). The CMS allows you to be in complete control of your website - updating text or images and adding pages free of charge whenever you want. And it's dead easy too!

"Getting beat 9-nil off Southwick Carpets is one of the low points of my football career" says former Sunderland, Sheffield United, Huddersfield, Northampton and Darlo striker.

Former doorman Andrew Surrey puts pen to paper on a permanent contract joining Azure's burgeoning development department after a three month probationery period and a wolrd class display of drinking that puts Dean Martin to shame.

Marvel... at the hilarious antics of your favourite designers, Swoon... as the intrepid team take you deep into Edinburgh's jungle using only common green salad as a visual aid, Laugh... at the dysfunctional drumming designers. Haven't you got work to do or something?

Rumours that the south are experiencing a shortage of original ideas appear to be substantiated as hapless southern design companies attempt to take credit for our work.

Football, football, football... there is a business associated with Azure design, you know. We do work from time to time. Ah, please yourself, have your populist mainstream sports story instead of a report on how many envelopes we’ve licked this week. There’s no pleasing some folk.

The new Northern Freight Services Website is now live and the company enjoyed working with us so much, their CEO wrote us a letter saying so. Being the publicity whores that we are, we're putting it straight here for you to see, so if you fancy a free plug on our site, all you have to do is drop us a line and tell us how fantastic we are. Hooray!

Bigger than the World Cup, more shocking than Wayne Rooney's missus's credit card bill, please click on the link to read about FC Azure Design's remarkable and breathtaking success...

As many of you know, sympathy isn't one of our strongest points here at Azure Design...